Do you know what makes me pretty much want to lose my mind? The mindset of today that teaches kids that there are no winners and losers in life. That's the biggest crock of bull crap I've ever heard. Parents and teachers who try to force that thought process on kids are just destroying any chance of survival. I'm getting ahead of myself though, let's start from the beginning.
I was browsing the internet when I happened upon an image of (what looked like) jam. Upon further inspection I found this to actually be an image of a jar filled with water and glitter with a caption that read: "Mind Jar. The goal is that when they are feeling out of control, they shake the jar, then sit and watch the glitter settle in the water. When the glitter settles, we finish our meditation. This one is a really great technique to use in lieu of timeout."
This was my thought process: "Ok, 'in lieu of timeout', so they are obviously referring to kids. Glitter? Settling in water? So, instead of punishing my child with a timeout (which, may I remind you, is nothing more than having a child sit alone to brood over what they have done and why it is wrong), they want me to have my child stare at a jar of glitter settling in water? What the hell does that accomplish?!"
What the hell, indeed.
This all goes back to parents being afraid of their kids. "Don't spank you kid, or he'll end up turning into a wife-beater", "Don't tell your kid he lost, tell him he didn't win that way he won't feel bad about himself", "Don't use red-ink to correct papers, red has a negative connotation" What the hell? When did we become so whimpy?
Ok, let's step outside the box and view this from a different perspective. I could, maybe, understand not spanking your kid, as long as he's punished in some other form. How will they learn the difference between what's acceptable and what's not? No one wants to physically hurt their child, so spanking can be seen as extreme (not that I have any problem with it, at all). Telling your kid that they didn't win instead of losing. Uhm, sure that will make them feel better, but so would actually winning. Don't use red-ink. This one I just don't get. Red ink is an editing tool that allows errors to be seen to be fixed. If red isn't used, it's much more difficult to see what needs to be fixed (or in this case, relearned).
The biggest problem I have with all of this, is the idea of not telling your kid that they lost at something. Losing is part of life. No one wants it to happen, but it does. Losing is the fuel for winning. To me, it's much better to lose at things (like sports) when a child is younger so they can get better and become more accustomed to winning as an adult.
If I person goes through life thinking that they'll never lose, then they'll never try to win. That makes life especially difficult in the workplace. If I was up for a job promotion and I had to beat out another competitor, I would do whatever it took to make sure that job was mine (within reason, of course -- I would never do anything under-handed). This is because I have a strong sense of competition. I know how awesome it feels to succeed and to beat out someone else for something that I really want.
Not everyone in life is going to win all the time. It doesn't work out that way. If you have an understanding of what it's like to lose however, you're better prepared to win.
I was browsing the internet when I happened upon an image of (what looked like) jam. Upon further inspection I found this to actually be an image of a jar filled with water and glitter with a caption that read: "Mind Jar. The goal is that when they are feeling out of control, they shake the jar, then sit and watch the glitter settle in the water. When the glitter settles, we finish our meditation. This one is a really great technique to use in lieu of timeout."
This was my thought process: "Ok, 'in lieu of timeout', so they are obviously referring to kids. Glitter? Settling in water? So, instead of punishing my child with a timeout (which, may I remind you, is nothing more than having a child sit alone to brood over what they have done and why it is wrong), they want me to have my child stare at a jar of glitter settling in water? What the hell does that accomplish?!"
What the hell, indeed.
This all goes back to parents being afraid of their kids. "Don't spank you kid, or he'll end up turning into a wife-beater", "Don't tell your kid he lost, tell him he didn't win that way he won't feel bad about himself", "Don't use red-ink to correct papers, red has a negative connotation" What the hell? When did we become so whimpy?
Ok, let's step outside the box and view this from a different perspective. I could, maybe, understand not spanking your kid, as long as he's punished in some other form. How will they learn the difference between what's acceptable and what's not? No one wants to physically hurt their child, so spanking can be seen as extreme (not that I have any problem with it, at all). Telling your kid that they didn't win instead of losing. Uhm, sure that will make them feel better, but so would actually winning. Don't use red-ink. This one I just don't get. Red ink is an editing tool that allows errors to be seen to be fixed. If red isn't used, it's much more difficult to see what needs to be fixed (or in this case, relearned).
The biggest problem I have with all of this, is the idea of not telling your kid that they lost at something. Losing is part of life. No one wants it to happen, but it does. Losing is the fuel for winning. To me, it's much better to lose at things (like sports) when a child is younger so they can get better and become more accustomed to winning as an adult.
If I person goes through life thinking that they'll never lose, then they'll never try to win. That makes life especially difficult in the workplace. If I was up for a job promotion and I had to beat out another competitor, I would do whatever it took to make sure that job was mine (within reason, of course -- I would never do anything under-handed). This is because I have a strong sense of competition. I know how awesome it feels to succeed and to beat out someone else for something that I really want.
Not everyone in life is going to win all the time. It doesn't work out that way. If you have an understanding of what it's like to lose however, you're better prepared to win.
